I thank you all for those who still viist my site! Obviously I have not blogged in quite a while.  Many reasons for this of course.  Obviously my mother has passed (Oct 9, 2007) this has been a difficult time for me as I am sure it would be for everyone.  I can say that I was fortunate to have her as long as I did.  She had lived on sheer will and faith for several months.  Refusing to give up to her last moments.  She inspired me greatly as she rarely if ever complained.  Until her last week she was active in helping others.  I have comfort knowing that she is out of pain yet this is sometimes not enough.  I am still in remission as far as medical testing can tell us.  I always get extremely apprehensive between August and December.  August is when it started and December is when I get tested.  I am fortunate that everything went well this year once again. Yes it is a continual struggle to stay positive and move forward. However I have so many role models and just looking at the way they lived their lives motivates me to continually move forward and through the past.  I am here and able to type and quite frankly many of my contemporaries are not.  So I am frankly lucky and blessed.  I wish all of you the best and thank you all for the support you have given me.  I can assure that I am still very active in trying to help others.  I have shifted gears towards myspace.com as I network with survivors and fighters on a regular basis.  Its all about trying to do for others what you have all done for me!  My myspace is www.myspace.com/survivor12.  This is where I lurk pretty frequently now.  Well I am off time for the cough syrup and bed apparently my flu shot got the flu!!

God Bless

Randy

KICKING CANCERS ASS ONE DAY AT A TIME!

Hello Everyone,

    Many have asked for updates and whats going on my life.  I would like to first thank everyone who continues to support me in my fight against cancer as well as others suffering from this disease.  I still continue to remain in remmission at this time.  I will being having a complete round of testing very soon to determine if I am in remission.  This time of year is always very sobering for me as I was more or less on huge roller coaster in 2004 at this time.  Every year in the month of August I start to get uptight over the past and the upcoming tests of the future.  I cant complain because I am still here and I am relatively healthy so whats the real problem????   I have recently been promoted at work and things are moving along on the right path.  I work with a great bunch of people all who are dedicated to the job and its a job I still love.  My son is now in college and he is quite grown up now.  My wife and I enjoying our together and things are going well.  I have been steadily trying to move forward and not dwell in the past or the future just trying to live for today because tommorow is always the unknown.  My mother is not doing well right now.  She has battled cancer for several years now.  She first beat breast cancer undergoing a  masectomy and chemo.  She never really complained.  In May 2006 she began having problems and was diagnosed with Small Cell Lung Cell cancer.  She has undergone the maximum amount of chemo that is effective at this point.  The cancer has mestasized to her brain and bones along with other organs.  She is simply incredible!  She does not complain just fights everyday for her life.  She is on hospice at home however she is still mobile and fighting the pain and the fight everyday.  The frankly told her that she should not be alive by all medical standards.  That of course is why medicine is not and exact science.  I have had the unpleasant tasks of assisting my father with planning her funeral and picking out grave sites.  This was very sobering particulary since she is still with us.  She is poster child for the term Survivor!  I know that she cannot live forever but I do know that she will not leave us until she decides its time!   She seems to be at peace with whats going on at least to the best anyone can.  So that is where I am at right now.  Everyday is a new challenge as it is for us all.  I just continue to try and rebuild the house that cancer tried to take and its a task that I will not fail at.  I hope this writing finds you all well and thank you for your support!

God Bless

Randy

Hi Everyone,

    All is well here!  My latest studies including my bone marrow aspiration from hell have shown no detectable Acute Myeloid Leukemia or Granulocytic Sarcoma.  Why the question mark in my cancer free entry cause its great news but its not necessarily the final answer it means that they cant detect if for now.  So "for now" Ill take that and run.  I have been very busy lately training as hard as I can in the confines that I have to work with.  I officially do have another hernia which is probably going to require surgery.  I am working diligently within the guidelines of what the Doc said I can do as I am trying to avoid being cut again.  But if it has to be then so be it apparently I do it well.  I have been training in Bare Combatives which is a culmination of multiple styles of Martial Arts broken down into several basic moves instead of thousand of moves.  We learn the basics very well enuf said.  I have been concentrating some effort in getting my Cancer Fund off of the ground.  I had the pleasure of giving the Lance Armstrong Foundation, Leukemia and Lymphoma Society and Gilda's Club very substantial donations in December.  This was only possible because of all the nice things that people did for me.  We will continue to assist organizations and needy individuals who are battling cancer.   To all the Survivor's and those battling your in my prayers and Keep Kicking Cancers Ass.

God Bless

Randy

Hello Everyone!

    All god willing is well here.  I have recently had non cancer related CT Scan of the abdomen which did not show any cancer.  That hopefully is good news!  This came about due me being injured at work.  I now have another hernia below my most recent hernia repair.  However the Doc says no surgery at this point.  I will be getting several tests within the next two weeks.  I have been having some abdominal discomfort and hopefully this may reveal whats going on.  These tests are specifically to rule out any cancer activity.  I just a upper gi which was unremarkable.   This is good news!  I will be having a PET Scan, Colonscopy and the much loved Bone Marrow Biopsy.  I always do welll with them but yes they do suck. So hopefully its good news for Christmas and what more could I ask for then the gift of health!  Hopefully Remission is the condition!  Many have been asking about my mother.  For those of you who dont know she was diagnosed with small cell lung cancer in May.  She has masses in her liver and both lungs.  She has been undergoing chemo since being diagnosed.  Her first round was at Fox Chase and everything has been done in our area since then.  She has been Kicking Cancers Ass so far.   The type of cancer she has is very serious however she has shown some improvement.  She continues to fight daily! She does not complain and just goes on with life.  She is nothing short of amazing.  So all is going here as good as it can I guess.  Im just in the holding pattern until the Dec 19 when Ill find out whats up with me.  I hope all is well with everyone else.

God Bless

Randy

Today is then end of my three hits I pray. Meaning if it all happens in three Im good to go but where does that leave the three.  The first is my mom she has small cell lung cancer we found this out last week when the doctor called me on Thursday and said its an oncological emergency be at Fox Chase on Friday to begin chemo.  Enough said?  Hope so!  However for mom this is round two after surviving breast cancer she is not battling small cell.  No there not the same and there not related.  But my mom is resiliant and about as tough as the come she wont complain she will just fight and she has made the decision to just that!  Then there is my friend Joan she walked through the door at work today and she also has cancer and yes this is no picnic either!  She is also a fighter and will do her best to kick cancers ass.  Well then just when I thought it was safe to go back in the water I "IM" a friend of mine from California yes he is the other Randy who is a cop with cancer!  Yes there is more then one of us!  He is currently battling an infection and facing a transplant.  So why am I announcing this cause for those of you who are believers I am asking for prayers and not for me cause Ill be just fine!  But for the three courageous individuals who walk the walk and know the evils of cancer and just as importantly for their families and for God to give them the strength they need to be supportive to their family members and help through these trying times!  So to Mom, Joan, Randy your in my prayers.  Keep fighting and Dont Ever Give Up!

God Bless

Randy

Hi Everyone,

Everything is going well here!  I have recently returned to full duty at work!  I am finally feeling pretty good and it appears my last surgery will call it Number 4 has been a success.  Honestly the best I have felt in a long time.  I am virtually off of all my stomach meds since this surgery.  The constant nausea has stopped!  I guess when your have a abdominal hernia like I did and your intestines are getting caught up in all that mess you might feel sick you think! Well no more!  I have been in the gym training heavily again.  Well not heavy but I have been putting my time in.  I really need to get a shirt no Im not a wimp I just had surgery.  I have been doing massive reps with very little weights probably in the 100's if not more on certain exercises.  The last time after chemo when I went into the gym and I was pressing my five pound dumbbells a guy I know approached and asked me if I had shoulder problems no I have cancer problems and Im just this weak from all the nonsense.  HAH Im actually getting quite good at this starting over business and getting deconditioned and reconditioned but hopefully this is the last time.  Take a look at me now Im going from crying about having cancer to crying about how little I can lift.  Wow it doesnot take long to forget does it????  Nah I did not forget and neither should any of us as to how lucky most us are.  Im alive and Im not suffering and every day about ground is a good one right now.  I am truyly very lucky to have gotten where I am as I know so many who have not been this lucky!  I had the opportunity to meet a very inspiring man at the Police Memorial in May his name is Nick Forgione and he is a retired Philadelphia Highway Patrol Officer he spotted my got cancer shirt and immediately approached me and shook my hand and told me was a survivor.  He said to me I will keep you in my prayers. "I pray for all those who have cancer, those who died from cancer and those will get cancer".  Pretty cool guy and I was humbled and honored to meet him.  So Nick if you read this keep inspiring us all and Ill be praying for everyone just like you.  Again thank you to everyone for all the love, inspiration and kindness you have all offered me.  As you can see today I am very upbeat and its because of all of you that I feel this way.

God Bless

Randy

Hello Everyone

   All is well here.  I have been back in the gym on a limited basis and lifting incredibly light weights were talking five and ten pound dumbells for hundreds of reps.  A far cry from the days of old.  However Im getting stronger and looking forward to getting better. I am 9 weeks out of surgery and honestly I am sure I am doing better then the average.  However I have pretty much never been average with this stuff and always pushed it to the limit.  Just this time I have been very worried about getting hurt again so its going to take a while I think.  I attended police week in Washington this weekend and had the honor of attending the Candlelight Vigil to honor our fallen heroes. A beautiful ceremony to honor our lost.  I also visited the Tomb of Unknown Soldiers and Arlington.  Both were nothing short of unbelievable.  Anytime you need to be humbled just check out Arlington and look at the literal never ending line of grave markers of those who gave there lives in service to our country.  I am still humbled by my visit.  Well I am off to work! 

God Bless

Randy

I hope everyone had a Happy Easter.  Everything was great here!  Everyone is relatively healthy and doing well.  I have a appointment with my surgeon tommorow so we will see where I am now.  I am about 5 weeks ought of surgery now and Im doing pretty well.  I am still not lifting anything yet and I am doing my best to keep it that way.  I really dont ever want to go through this again so Im just trying to beat that thought in my head and be as good as I can.  My scar looks great and its much better then any of the other ones.  I think Ill keep this one.  The only problem that I am having is a burning censation through out the surgery site.  This is believed to be the nerve endings that were cut when doing the surgery.  If I told you that is like a huge pain in the a** then I would be whining and I dont have time for a whiners myself included.  To many people with real problems out there.  Can I get and AMEN!  So everything is doing well at this point to the best my knowledge Im still Kicking Cancers Ass.  Why me I really cant answer that sometimes I wish I knew.  Yes I have survivor guilt I wont lie.  But I to want all my friends to do well its just unfortunate that some suffer more then others.  I thank you all again for all the support that everyone has offered me again I couild not do it without all of you.

God Bless

Randy

Hi Everyone!

     Im up early as usual converted back to hospital time which is usually in bed by 12 and up by 0230 or 0300 and been up ever since.  Luckily today I dont have to be to work until late so I will be going back to bed.  I am back to work now and managing to get through the days.  Many ask does it hurt yes it does but its manageable and Im basically out of time at this point other then my vacation days.  So Im saving them for whatever else might come along or maybe even a vacation. Either way I have to be stingy cause I dont want to wind up taking days off and pulling 0's.  Anyhow things I believe are going as well as can be expected I am up and getting around very well. I still will not lift or really do anything with the exception of the treadmill at that gym.  This surgery was pretty extensive in repairing all that I had chosen to do to myself since the last one.  Meaning Im not doing anything in my control do screw this one up cause they only keep getting harder to fix the abs when you keep cutting them.  Since the last round was three surgeries in about three months there was not time to heal  then throw in some chemo and you have all the makings for a disaster. Particulary when you have someone like myself who is not the most compliant patient.  However Im not doing anything at this point and have absolutely no intention to for about another 8 weeks and then I should be able to start back in the gym at a snails pace.  But in the grand scheme of things I have had more second chances and been luckier then many cause I can walk, talk, think (most of the time) and do pretty much anything I want and better yet Im alive!  So how lucky am I pretty damn lucky I think!  Now on that note how lucky are you?  So for now its all good thanks to all for your support and prayers!  I would not have made it this far without you!

God Bless

Randy

Hi Everyone:

     For those of you who dont know I just had surgery Monday at Jeanes Hospital in Philadelphia.

I had developed  a very large hernia in my previoius incision site and had it repaired.  Unfortunately it was to large to be repaired by laproscopy so I had a open hernia repair.  I have pretty much the largest incision yet.  However this time I got a two for one special as they looked around and did not find any cancer!  They then cut a large portion of the damaged muscle out and sewed it back together and reinforced it with mesh. Hopefully it will be stronger then ever.  I just arrived home from the hospital tonight.  My laptop is blown apart as the screen failed so I no longer update from remote sites as I used to.  Everything appears to have went very well with this surgery and I will be out of work for approximately two weeks before I return to light duty.  Normal life will start in about 12 weeks however there is no hurry on this one as I dont want to go through this again.  This was surgery 4.5 and I can honestly say I have had enough.  I am looking forward to getting back to the many things that I have been unable to do without pain.  But most importantly I will be able to return to the Maritial Arts particulary jiu jitsu.  It will take some time to heal but it will all be worth it.  I would like to thank all of you who have supported me throughout the nonsense!  I would never have made it this far without all of you!  I can honestly say that every stay in the hospital is more humbling then the next as I continue to meet some amazing people who make it against the odds.  Again thanks to all of you!

To my Steven Ill see you on the mat!

God Bless

Randy